Monday
No Matter What, the Most Important Things are the Children
I think this should be obvious to you, yet I understand that it is easy to forget what is most important when you are feeling the strong emotions you may be feeling. I came across a Website called The Stepfamily Letter Project, http://stepfamilyletterproject.wordpress.com. The site includes letters from different types of family members to other family members. The caption reads: “Blended Families Share Their Challenges, Joys, and Advice.” The letters are full of pain and wit. Yet, they illustrate how intensely one’s actions effect other people, how devastating selfishness and thoughtlessness is, and how uplifting is grace and understanding. If you look at this site, you may read letters from people experiencing similar frustrations and joys as you. I think that reading these honest writings helps to put things into perspective.
Tuesday
How do I pick a lawyer?
As a lawyer, I have a strong opinion about what makes a good Family Law attorney! After all, I deal with them every day! Here is what I think.
A prerequisite for all excellent attorneys is that he or she MUST know the law. But to be a great Family Law attorney, I believe your attorney should have many skills beyond that. He or she must be agile. I believe that Family Law is an area that requires an especially generous amount of maneuvering and balance from your attorney. You are in a place in your lives where you are the most emotionally challenged; there is a lot of sadness, anger, and fear present in most cases, likely yours. You probably have children involved. Combine that with the fact that a good Family Law attorney must do whatever he or she can to facilitate the best possible relationship between you and the person you are disagreeing with, at the same time the attorney is fighting to get the best possible result for you. That means your attorney needs to know when to negotiate and when to litigate, when to hold off, and when to be aggressive, when to hold your hand and when to give you a good talking to.
Your attorney must be accessible. You may have situations where you need to talk to your attorney, fast. You may be experiencing a crisis with your children or with your bills. You have to have an attorney you can reach quickly.
Your attorney should be a good listener. A lot of what goes on in a Family Law case is discovered between the lines, in what’s missing, in understanding your fears and needs, and your goals. You can’t always articulate that concisely or quickly.
Your attorney must have patience. You may be at your worst and the process takes time. You need someone on your side that has the patience to see you through.
I also believe that your attorney should have some familiarity, that is should have experience with what you are experiencing. Perhaps has raised kids, gone through a divorce, had the struggles that you’ve had, to really help understand what you are going through and feeling.
A prerequisite for all excellent attorneys is that he or she MUST know the law. But to be a great Family Law attorney, I believe your attorney should have many skills beyond that. He or she must be agile. I believe that Family Law is an area that requires an especially generous amount of maneuvering and balance from your attorney. You are in a place in your lives where you are the most emotionally challenged; there is a lot of sadness, anger, and fear present in most cases, likely yours. You probably have children involved. Combine that with the fact that a good Family Law attorney must do whatever he or she can to facilitate the best possible relationship between you and the person you are disagreeing with, at the same time the attorney is fighting to get the best possible result for you. That means your attorney needs to know when to negotiate and when to litigate, when to hold off, and when to be aggressive, when to hold your hand and when to give you a good talking to.
Your attorney must be accessible. You may have situations where you need to talk to your attorney, fast. You may be experiencing a crisis with your children or with your bills. You have to have an attorney you can reach quickly.
Your attorney should be a good listener. A lot of what goes on in a Family Law case is discovered between the lines, in what’s missing, in understanding your fears and needs, and your goals. You can’t always articulate that concisely or quickly.
Your attorney must have patience. You may be at your worst and the process takes time. You need someone on your side that has the patience to see you through.
I also believe that your attorney should have some familiarity, that is should have experience with what you are experiencing. Perhaps has raised kids, gone through a divorce, had the struggles that you’ve had, to really help understand what you are going through and feeling.
Sunday
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